A Path to Self-Acceptance: How Everyone’s Journey Inspires Us to Keep Going
Hello readers! Humans are emotional creatures who live in society, and hence we have our own standards of living. I wanted to share some of my thoughts and views with you about this.
We come from diverse backgrounds and adopt different things which results in a multitude of opinions on all subjects. Everyone sees things in their own way and has their own perception. This creates fears and insecurities on one-self. We fear that we are incapable. We fear that others will judge us. We fear what others think of us. We have developed insecurities due to past trauma. For some, they can be even worse and we can’t even expect what they have and how severe those insecurities are.
I, a mere human, have insecurities too. I am a 21-year old 6 feet 2 inch guy, wheatish, got a good job with decent package, have a supportive lovely family, have some good friends, a few best friends both in person and online, and a closest friend who’s there for me at all the times. I’m not trying to brag here, but just trying to highlight the point that despite all of this I have in my life, I still have some apprehensions.
I fear not being a good looking guy. Yes.
It may sound silly to some, but a few can relate at least. I have had this fear since childhood. This insecurity of ‘being-a-ugly-guy’ destroyed my mental peace. Being this as a core thing, it led to several other fears like being judged by others, this then led to another fear of trying to do everything perfectly (otherwise people will judge me), even though I couldn’t afford that perfectness in some situations.
To make things clear…. I have an interest in mobile video editing. But I don’t do that because my phone isn’t an iPhone to shoot videos. If that isn’t a good phone, they aren’t good photos or videos and so the final edit won’t be good. So, if and only if there is an iPhone, (my phone is of 35k and takes somewhat good pictures though) I shoot videos and then proceed for editing. This made me stop my passion and creativity in video editing. Funny, right?
It’s not!!
There are some problems which may seem childish to others, but only they know the pain of stopping them from not doing things they love to do.For some, even asking for a pen from others might be a hurdle. It is subjective. We shouldn’t take others’ problems lightly as they may be hard for them.
I can’t ask anything in public, even if it is my right to ask because everyone laughs at me when I do so, be it in shops or restaurants, anywhere. I can’t bargain with vegetable vendors, so I prefer to buy in supermarkets. I can’t haggle with an auto-rickshaw driver for the fare, so I choose to take the bus. Everything that related to the public began to make me afraid. This triggered the ‘spotlight effect’ syndrome and I began to fear being alone in public. Even for gatherings with my friends. I always make sure to come late so that I don’t need to wait for them, alone.
This became worse and I had started to fear asking even my parents for anything. My brain started to comprehend that even your closest ones to your heart would judge you based on your looks, appearance, grooming and the brands you use. For asking anything you have to look good. To talk with strangers you have to look good. I always blame myself for not being just good, but handsome (I didn’t even want to be an average/good-looking guy due to that ‘being-perfect’ insecurity).
0 Comments