Fuck Your ‘Love Your Body’ Movement.
It can be hard work loving your body and even harder when that body means you are oppressed in society and are denied things others take for granted. The body positivity movement promotes loving your whole body, without trying to fit yourself into a social stereotype. And while this movement has been and continues to be needed it also has in ways become toxic. Toxic because we are over-saturated with mostly positive stories on social media. And because of the ease of access to so much information. Information that is not always correct.
Body positivity does expand the concept of beauty, but at its core, it still perpetuates an over-focus on one’s appearance. And this can be toxic as it still implies that one’s value lies mostly in their appearance. We are given the idea that we should always be positive about our bodies and that we should not listen to our negative emotions. This expectation we feel is a form of ‘toxic positivity’. Negative emotions are a normal part of the human experience. Ups and downs are a part of life and denying them could lead to a bigger emotional collapse.
However social media has intensified these messages, and they are in our faces even more. We are targeted by algorithms based on what we look at and watch to show us more of this content. Flooded with stories of happy people accepting their differences, who have no negative stories. We are told by this ‘toxic positivity’ that we must love ourselves at any size, or with any difference. We must love ourselves all the time and push away negative thoughts. And then when we can’t achieve this magical state that so many ‘influencers’ appear to have we are left feeling like dejected failures. Left feeling useless because we can’t achieve this same fake life, we see portrayed all over social media.
So, is ‘toxic positivity’ a form of gaslighting?
Gaslighting is the subjective experience of having your reality continually questioned by another. It is when someone causes you to question your sense of reality, causing you to disassociate yourself from your negative feelings, rationalise an unacceptable experience and sometimes even gaslight others.
‘Toxic positivity’ pushes on people that they should only feel some of their emotional experiences, thus overtly and covertly telling them that there is something wrong with them feeling any other way. Impacting their mental health in many ways, including, experiencing shame, increasing stress, lowering self-efficiency, and impacting connections.
Sounds like gaslighting to me.
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