I Am Trying Hard Not to Let My Self-Protective Nature Ruin my New Relationship
Sometimes the nature of my thoughts tends to boggle even me. One moment I would be basking in the warmth of new love and the next I’d catch a stray thought triggering a free fall into the proverbial rabbit’s hole.
It is dark, cold, and utterly scary when I find myself in its labyrinthine depths. Because in there, the what-ifs rule the roost and sometimes I am unable to navigate the twists and turns that bring me back to the light and reality.It’s natural to assume that when two people are ready to start a relationship, it would follow a linear progression from Step A (falling in love), Step B (Building trust), and finally, Step C (Commitment).
But not in the case of a professional overthinker like me. From Step A, I went directly to Step X (No, this isn’t going to work out), drastically dropped to Step Q (I’m not good enough for you), and did the tango with its counterpart Step R (This was a bad idea to begin with).
It is little comfort to know that I am not in a minority here. Research shows chronic overthinking is more widespread than previously understood with 73% of 25- to 35-year-olds along with 52% of people ages 45 to 55 regularly engaging in this negative and self-defeating habit.
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