When A Child Wanted Us To Keep Her — Our Adoption Story
I remember the moment at the final adoption panel. The hearts of my husband and I were collectively racing, and we held each other’s hands for comfort. Feeling sick with worry. I was scared that if they said no, the little girl waiting at home for us would have suffered a lifetime in care.
She’d suffered enough. Removed from her birth family two years before and then failed promises of different futures — she became more than a returning foster “placement” to us.
She was the little girl who boldly walked in the front door like she never left. Then shouted in her cute preschool voice, “I’m back”, and started asking for her favourite food of Spaghetti Hoops — which she rapidly demolished a whole tin in minutes.
Her forever family hadn’t worked out. She was terribly unhappy away from us, and here we now were — her face covered in orange sauce and snot — hugging us like she never wanted ever to let her go again.
She chose us. We didn’t plan to adopt. We didn’t even fit the criteria. She just landed in our life like a whirlwind whilst I was pregnant with my next daughter and made herself at home.
And she only left us once she was a confident adult ready to make her own waves in the world
Looking back at the time she returned as a small child, it seemed so simple. All we had to do was love her unconditionally.
We knew it wouldn’t be easy. We knew that the books and support groups only talked about the challenges and suggested that it might break us. Attachment issues and adoption are complex matters — and we felt, as both experienced parents and foster carers, that we would be as prepared as anyone.
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