4 Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries
Everybody thinks communication is the key to healthy relationships. But I’m not so sure…
Obviously, communication is important in any relationship. But here’s the thing:
Poor communication is a result of relationship problems, but rarely the cause.
Over the years working as a psychologist and seeing just about every shape and size of relationships problem, there’s something much more fundamental that causes relationships to fall apart: Unhealthy boundaries
Unhealthy boundaries mean there’s an imbalance in the mixture of intimacy and independence in a given relationship.
For example:
Start oversharing your personal life with your employees or direct reports at work and problems are bound to come up.
Withhold intimacy from your spouse or romantic partner and lots of relationship problems — including poor communication — are virtually inevitable.
If you want healthy relationships, you need healthy boundaries.
In the rest of this article, I’m going to walk through 4 signs that your boundaries might be unhealthy and the quality of your relationships at risk.
If you have any kind of relationship struggle — big or small, work or home — creating better boundaries is one of the best investments you can make for happier, healthier, and more effective relationships.
1. You Set Boundaries but Don’t Enforce Them
Let’s be honest: Setting boundaries isn’t that hard…
Reminding your coworker that you need the numbers from the Johnson file by Thursday afternoon so you have time to finish your report.
Or asking your spouse to carve out more time for activities together on the weekends instead of doing extra work or browsing social media.
While it may be a little uncomfortable being assertive and asking for what you want, that’s nothing compared to how difficult it is to actually enforce those boundaries when they’re violated or…
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