When an Affair Happens, is the Other Woman Really to Blame?
I don’t remember the circumstances around telling my boyfriend that I had been with a married man. But inevitably, it always comes up. I’m not one to go around wearing a scarlet letter, but I do believe in being honest about my dating history.
After telling him, it became a kind of a running joke to call me a homewrecker. I know that he was only poking fun, but it did get me thinking about a few things when it came to being the other woman. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t hurt a little bit, that it didn’t feel like the blame of it all laid solely on me.
The first time I kissed a married man, I was nineteen.
It was in his home, sitting on his living room couch, while his wife was at work. We had been working together for the same company, DJing karaoke at different local bars. We met one night when he was DJing, and my best friend and I snuck into a bar to sing karaoke. My best friend and I were both underage, but most of the time, the bartenders would turn a blind eye because we promised not to drink.He was older than me, thirty-six at the time, and I noticed right away that he was married, spying the ring on his finger, but that didn’t seem to hold him back. He pursued me, even got me a job. We would go to each other’s shows, spending time with each other on our nights off. His wife worked nights, and he was always free and up for hanging out.
I was young and flattered, loving the attention that he showered me with every day.
Since that first day, I kissed a married man, I have kissed two married men and one who was separated. While all of these men were very different in personality, looks, and other areas, they all had one in common. Every single one of them pursued me.
Some people would call me a homewrecker.
Some of these people even do it to my face, and they aren’t joking. I used to shrug off the feeling as if I had done something wrong. When people would point out that my actions could be the reasons that families were torn apart and upended, I always had the same…
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